Recently in Family Category

I've been trying to think of a way to write a nice little tribute to my grandmother, but every time I think about it, I get overwhelmed and have to stop. So I just decided to do some random stream of consciousness writing here about her, to get these things out of my head.

I was born on Memaw's birthday, which has always been so special to me. She always made a point to take me out for a birthday lunch, just the 2 of us when I was growing up. We talked every year on our birthday, even when I moved away, and it's been weird for the last few years with her being in the nursing home not being able to call her to wish her a happy birthday. It'll be weird this year without her.

Memaw made the BEST chicken and dumplins and unsweet tea I've ever had. I use her dumplins recipe when I make them, and while mine are good, they just aren't the same.

I wear the "Mother of the Bride" dress that she wore in my aunt Linda's wedding for the character of April May in "Impress These Apes." I have a lot of her old dresses and jewelry, and it is so special every time I wear them.

Christopher and I loved spending the night over at her house. At night, she and papaw would let Buffy (the parakeet) out of his cage and fly around the house, which was the MOST EXCITING THING to us. Papaw would listen to records, and memaw would watch Lawrence Welk (my favorite line ever from the show: "Well, there you have it. A nice group of pretty good dancers.") The next morning, we would watch Saturday morning cartoons in the living room and wrestle ("Germ Caterpillar" [catapiller] and "I Bet You Can't Break Through This Fort" were the best to play at her house) and she would make us either french toast or toast with orange marmalade.

Memaw played the organ at the church we grew up in. It was so fun running up to her after each service for a hug, and on rare special occasions, we would get to sit next to her during the service in front of the whole congregation. She taught us piano, but my focus was dance, so in our lessons that were supposed to happen before my ballet class, I would often convince her that I need to rest before class instead of take lessons. She almost always let me.

Memaw and I shared another bond--hyperhidrosis. Mom said that when I was a baby, only a few weeks old, my feet would turn bright red and I would cry and cry. Memaw suggested once that she put socks on my feet, and that made me stop crying. She knew then and there that I had it.  Hyperhidrosis is such a horrible condition, and it helped that I had a family member so close to me who knew what it was like to not be able to touch people, hold paper, use a pencil, etc. When she played piano (and when I did as well) or organ, she would leave little droplets of water on the keys, and I would always clean them up for her after the service.  When I discovered the surgery that would later change my life (for which I am still forever grateful to Shelly Gossman for finding for me and sending my way), Memaw was so supportive of me, telling me that I had to do it, and she would if she could, also. The decision to have that surgery was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life, and I think she was happy that it made me able to live a more normal life.

Memaw was so supportive of me when I decided to move to Chicago, both emotionally and financially. I struggled there for a few years at the beginning, when I was working 3 jobs, in classes and doing shows, and she would always send along a little check right when I needed it most. I tried to keep her updated on my shows and goings on, and when we cleaned out her house a few years ago, I found every card or letter that I ever sent her. She never threw them out.  In the cards that she would write me, she would always apologize for her "chicken scratch" handwriting.

This is a random memory, but my brother and I, while being best friends, fought like cats and dogs growing up. Whenever I would say that I hated him (something I would never ever say today), she would just repeat the word "hate" over and over again to make us realize how stupid and mean it was. "Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate. Hate." and eventually it would get me to admit that I didn't hate him, I was just mad at him.

When we found and scanned all the photos of memaw as a child and young girl, it offered a glimpse into a whole world that we didn't know existed. She looked so exotic! I've had some friends tell me that I look a lot like her, and I think that is the nicest complement.

At the funeral, the pastor talked about how Memaw always brought out the best in people and wanted others to be happy. It was neat to hear that, as that is the kind of life that I strive to have as well. I want my friends to succeed, and I want to help them in whatever way I can for them to be happy. I like to think that most of us in my family is like that, but it was nice to hear it in words and know that I am following in the footsteps of such a great lady.

At the funeral, I was reminded of our sweet little family, and just how many have passed on before us. Memaw Burns, Papaw Bane, Lollie, Papaw Reid, and of course, my Dad. Every time we lose someone new, I miss my Daddy more and more. It was weird not having Christopher and Katie there at the services, and I know they had a hard time not being there as well. But sweetly, there was also a melding of both sides of the family. Susan, my Dad's sister, sat with the family, and their brother Carl was a pall bearer. At the funeral home, Linda had put together a slideshow of old family photos, and there was one of Memaw, Papaw, Mom, Christopher (who was holding his koala Eukie), Dad and me (who was holding my blanket Dird)--it was so quintessentially US, and it really showed just how much over the years the family has changed. I am so grateful that I was blessed with the family that I was blessed with. They all taught me a lot, and I am who I am because of them. 

I am so honored that Helen Juanita Burns Bane was my grandmother. She will certainly be missed.

http://www.fisherfuneralhome.net/fh/obituaries/obituary.cfm?o_id=1369970&fh_id=12459

Helen Juanita Bane
(April 12, 1928 - January 16, 2012)

Helen Juanita Bane, 83 of Vicksburg, MS, died Monday, January 16, 2012 at Shady Lawn Nursing Home in Vicksburg, MS.

Mrs. Bane was born in Neshoba County but lived most of her life in Vicksburg. She was a member of Highland Baptist Church where she served as Organist for a number of years. Mrs. Bane taught piano and organ for many years.
The family would like to thank Hospice Advantage and Shady Lawn Nursing Home for the love and care of Mrs. Bane.

Survivors Include:
Daughters:
Linda Bane (Don) Antoine, Vicksburg, MS
Patricia Bane Reid, Vicksburg, MS
 
Grandchildren:
Christopher (Katie) Reid
Erica (Fuzzy) Gerdes
Matthew Antoine
Scott Antoine

Preceded in death by:
Parents: H H Burns Sr. and Laura Mae Parker Burns

Brother: Henry H. Burns Jr.

[EDITED]- Husband: George A. Bane

Son-n-Law David Reid

Funeral services will be held at 10 a m Thursday Jan. 19,2012 at Frank J. Fisher Funeral Home in Vicksburg, MS with Bro. Marvin Curtis officiating.

Burial will follow at Greenlawn Gardens Cemetery with Rev. Ron Burch officating.
 
Visitation will be held on Wednesday, January 18, 2012 from 5 to 7 p m at Frank J. Fisher Funeral Home .

Pallbearers: Don Antoine, Matthew Antoine, Scott Antoine, Fuzzy Gerdes, Carl Reid, L. H. Abraham

My sweet little memaw passed away last night...
She and I shared a birthday.

 
I'll really miss her. More info to come soon.

The trip home for Christmas this year was really lovely. I was great being in the South--I feel like I really reconnected with my roots. It was bittersweet, of course, because of ailing old memaws and lots of goodbyes, but we had some great time together as a family, and ate lots of great food.

 
On December 22nd, we celebrated Christopher's 35th birthday! (photo by Katie Reid)

 
He will never turn down an opportunity to wear a sombrero, that's for sure.

 
Me and Mama!

The next day, we had dinner with friends at Rusty's! Here is Jill and Philip, Christopher and Ian! Mom and I split a mondo seafood platter, and of course we had fried pickles. Heaven.
(photo by Katie Reid)

Later that night, we went to the Biscuit Company with some family and old friends to see my uncle Carl's band, The Chill.
Carl and Lee H. rock it out.

A bunch of friends! (photo by Chris Reid)

Here we are with Carl! Doesn't he look a lot like Dad? (photo by Chris Reid)

Alex came out!

Look out for Jamie!

Unless noted, all photos by Fuzzy Gerdes. More to come later!

Here is the text from the article in today's Vicksburg Post about Christopher and Katie!

On a mission
City native, wife follow 'calling' to Tanzania

by Pamela Hitchins

Chris and Katie Reid pose in downtown Vicksburg before their move to Tanzania. (Eli Baylis)

The year 2012 is not just a new year for Vicksburg native Christopher Reid. It's a time of many "news" -- new job, new home, new language, new country, new continent.

Reid, 35, a 1995 graduate of Warren Central High School, and his wife Katie, 33, a native of Philadelphia, have signed on with Maryknoll Lay Missioners, a Roman Catholic organization dedicated to living and working in poor communities in Africa, Asia and the Americas.

The Reids arrived Friday in Tanzania, on the east coast of Africa, where for the next 3 1/2 years they will bring their backgrounds in social work and community involvement to work primarily with women in the country's second largest city, Mwanza, located on Lake Victoria.

"It is a leap of faith, with some pretty big unknowns," Chris Reid said in an interview at the Highway 61 Cafe. "Will I be able to learn the language? Will they even want to talk with me? Will I be able to make a connection with them?"

On the whole, though, the Reids are excited and happy to be on their way to do the work they've trained, prayed and hoped to do.

"Even on a bad day it will still be interesting," Chris Reid said.

Family members say he's right for the challenge.

"I don't really want him to go, because he'll be away for so long, but they have to go," said his mother, Patricia Reid. "It's their calling."

"My brother's my best friend," said Erica Reid Gerdes. "I've learned so much from him throughout my life. It's difficult knowing I won't be able to see him and talk to him as often as I might like, but I'm still learning from him -- to not hold back, to take risks, to follow the passions I have, as well."

At Warren Central, Chris Reid played trumpet in the Big Blue Band and was president of the art club before going on to Hinds Community College and earning a degree in graphic arts. Katie, raised in Philadelphia, got a bachelor's degree from New York University.

Both Chris and Katie have a record of community and social service. They met in 2001 when they were members of AmeriCorps NCCC in Denver. For Chris, raised a Baptist, it was also a time of spiritual seeking and discovering the Catholic church, he said.

At the same time, some pivotal reading, like Barbara Kingsolver's "The Poisonwood Bible," got him interested in Africa, and Bible studies and Catholic instructional classes he attended sparked his desire to work for social causes.

"I was really struck by the stories of the people that were down in the dirt and working to help others," Chris Reid said. "Yes, the history of the church, the hierarchy, these things were interesting, too, but it was the social justice that I found inspiring. It struck a nerve with me, and here we are six or seven years later actually going to do the same thing."

Katie Reid's path was a bit more direct.

"I remember from an early age wanting to do social justice work," she said. "I also remember from an early age wanting to move to Africa. That's how I ended up with a major in social work."

Following their Americorps service, they were married in Cape May, N.J., and then moved to South Carolina where each earned master's degrees at the University of South Carolina, Columbia, and compiled extensive resumes of social work, including homelessness councils, sexual trauma victims, mental health agencies and juvenile justice programs.

Chris converted to Catholicism as he and Katie married -- not because he had to, the couple said, but because of an authentic, from-the-heart response. They began looking for ways to serve overseas, though the illness and death of Chris' father, David Reid, such a mainstay at the 61 Cafe that his hat still hangs over the door, intervened. The couple finally was able to sign on with Maryknoll this year.

"We told them, 'We want Africa, but we are so committed to this work, you can put us anywhere," Chris Reid said. "That's how called we are. Maryknoll also sends missioners to Asia and South America, and they could have sent us somewhere else. But when I interviewed, it worked out to be Africa. We got all of it. We got exactly what we wanted."

Maryknoll calls its workers "missioners," not "missionaries," and their focus is not overtly evangelistic, Chris Reid said. They respect the culture of the people and do not try to change them or effect a religious conversion. Missioners simply live among them, helping where they can.

His Maryknoll trainers told Chris that when he and Katie are able to let go of the idea of "I'm going to change the world," that's when they will actually start being effective, he said.

"Lower your expectations," he said they were told. "You are an accompanist, accompanying people in their stories."

Their first task will be attending an intensive residential language school for three months where they will learn Swahili, and then they will have a two- to three-month initiation period at their jobs, mostly honing their language skills.

The Reids will not know exactly what their duties will be until they are knee-deep into them, but Maryknoll had to provide a general job description in order for them to get visas.

Katie will be working with the Catholic Diocese of Mwanza in programming, focusing on gender-based projects like support for single mothers, gender and HIV/AIDS, and women and agriculture. Chris will work with the Buswelu Women's Cooperative, where groups of 10 women to 15 women work on income-generating projects, he said.

Today, my brother and sister-in-law take one of the biggest steps of their lives--moving to Tanzania!

(Here is Christopher getting ready for the trip.)

I am so amazingly proud of them and I am awe-inspired by their calling to mission and to live among the poor in Africa. They have been waiting for this moment for 10 years!

(Here we are under the Hwy 61 sign in downtown Vicksburg.)

I feel blessed that we've been able to see them so much this year--4 times! And this last week home for Christopher's birthday and for Christmas was really amazing.

(Our last photo together for a couple of years!)

I love you, Christopher and Katie! You will always be in my thoughts and prayers!

Kwa heri and salaam safiri!

 

 

Fuzzy and I were in New York State this past weekend to celebrate Christopher and Katie's calling to mission and to witness their Sending Ceremony. It was an intense weekend of emotions and not a lot of sleep, but it was utterly priceless. I feel like I understand better their desire to go to Tanzania, and meeting the people that they have been training with and from over the past few months was really special. 

Kicking off the weekend, my colleague Karen and her husband Ira took us on a hike up the West Mountain in Bear Mountain State Park. I am still in a lot of pain with my knee, but I had hiking poles, my knee was all taped up, and Karen assured me that the hike wasn't going to be that challenging--just a little uphill at the very beginning. It is also worth mentioning that Karen and Ira has already been on one hike earlier in the day. So Christopher, Fuzzy, and I took off for what we assumed to be a leisurely walk in the woods.

Christopher and I are ready to go!

 

IT WAS HARD! It was essentially mountain climbing. Rock walls, mega inclines, the works. I am not going to lie, it was really hard. But I did it, and it was so nice being in nature away from all the stress and everything. It was great to spend time with Karen, whom I adore. It was great to have some time with my brother and my husband and just let it go. It was awesome.

Our mountain looked out at Bear Mountain. I didn't even know New York had mountains.

Christopher points to the future.

 

Me with Christopher and Karen in the background. Please note: I was wearing 4 shirts (3 of them long sleeved), a coat, 2 pairs of pants, 2 pairs of socks, winter boots (waterproof, which was an asset) and hat and gloves.

Climbing a rock wall.

Top O' the Mountain to Ya!

This is one of my favorite photos ever. My two favorite men.

Woods

Ira leading the way home.

 

All photos by Fuzzy Gerdes

Four years ago today, we lost my daddy.



I miss him every single day.

 

There is so much I want to say, but I don't know if I have the strength or energy to.
So here are some photos.

 

My brother put it amazingly on his blog today. He said, "I could not have made it to where I am today without him; I just wish he could have made it here with me." Amen.

Here's to the memory of an amazing man, who was an amazing father. I am so blessed that I got to know him for the time that I was able to. I cherish those years with all of my heart. I am who I am because of him, and I will carry him in my heart for the rest of my life.

Fuzzy, my amazing husband, is participating in this year's Movember, the "let's all grow mustaches this month to raise money and awareness about men's cancers" fundraising campaign. Since I lost my father to effing cancer almost 4 years ago (good Lord), I support this decision 100%! Here he is on day one: 

Sidenote: this photo was taken the day after this one, so it was quite a change. Also, Fuzzy did not tell me he was going to shave his beard, so it was a shock seeing him all baby faced that morning.

This is him now!

On his blog, Fuzzy has made a special offer to shave off certain parts of his mustache for certain amount donations! Who can pass that up? It seems like an offer you can't refuse. To make a donation, please visit my brother-in-law's donation page here! If you make the donation in memory of David Reid, all the better. Fuzzy has offered to make a video of the ceremonial shaving, and I will post that here.

There's less than a week left to donate!
Thank you!